All this dating stuff

It’s really annoying. I mean, sure I’d want to go on one, but it’s not really all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns.

It feels super awkward for me too. Liking someone older than me. It’s just so weird. I feel like I don’t have a fighting chance at all, and that there’s nothing that I can ever do to compensate for the age  discrepancy. But then again, I feel really good whenever I’m with you or actually, just when I see you. It makes my heart jump a bit. At times, when we’re together, I just can’t keep myself from looking at you, almost to the point of staring at you. I feel like it creeps you out A LOT, but then again, I highly doubt that you notice me like how I notice you. HAHAHA.

Anyways, this was just a little thing about this situation of mine. I’m going to go to sleep now.

Going to enjoy

I’m going to enjoy my last day alive… For after today, I certainly will die…

Rejection

I think I just got rejected… Well, I guess it’s alright. Things will get better.

Finally…

I got your answer…

“Sorry, I don’t think I can go to Formal with you.”

Thank you for telling me this. I do not want to take the “don’t think” part the wrong way and get my hopes up, but it’s really what’s keeping my day alive…

In all truth though, I’m alright with it. At least I tried, and you don’t feel like you’re never going to get asked for Formal ever.

Hopefully, there’ll be no awkwardness for both of us later on.

I need to find a date to Winter Formal.

I have my clothes and all. But no date…

Weirdest thing that has happened to me yet.

My parents were trying to hook me up with this one girl that my mom teaches. She’s all like, “Oh she’s perfect for you ! You guys are both tall and smart. And she’s pretty too. If you had a girlfriend, it should be her.” EL OH EL. Some people know who she is. Hahaha. *cough Steven cough* *cough Samantha cough* *cough Arielle cough* HAHAHA. But yeah. That was the most fucking weird shit that has happened to me yet.

There are things that are worth remembering forever…

You can have something good or bad, or maybe indifferent. But know this, there is always that one thing that is worth remembering forever. It doesn’t matter if your the most heartless person in the world, there is something that you will hold on to, no matter what. There’s no point in lying about it. You can hide it as much as you want, but know, that you WILL have something, or maybe you already have it.

Whether it’s a memory, a materialistic object, or feelings, if it touches you inside, then it’s worth keeping. If it hurt you so much that you felt it in your soul, keep it; if it’s the sole memory of someone that you lost, keep it; if it’s an item that someone important to you, keep it; if it’s a feeling that you felt inside you, keep it.

Two things…. I fucked them up badly…

Well, first of all, the usual… I had a GREAT chance. If I would’ve walked home with Vince, I would’ve had the BEST chance EVER. As in, NO ONE would be around at all after the intersection; I could’ve had about 2 or so blocks. Fuck it. I’m so fucking retarded. And then we sat next to each other at lunch. WTAF. Fucking people are like setting me up. I mean, it halla seems like it. They keep making it end up so that we are like within close proximity of each other. If they do try to, then I want to THANK YOU, but I’m sorry that I’m just so fucking awkward.

Secondly, I’m guessing that I fucked up my MMA career. I had a call today, and I was hella tired, but I think, if I’m not mistaken, I just moved up another weight class after losing the bout for the 14 - 17 National Championship… I mean, why ?! I must’ve been too tired to t hink or something. Now, I’m fighting 160 lbs. Shit. I barely made 155 lbs. Now I’m moving up ? I’m going to get fucked up and end up in some sort of coma. I don’t have that much punching power. I can outmuscle 200 lbs or so guys in the ground game, but shit, in the stand up game, I’m fucking screwed. I need to try and move back down. Shit. I want another chance at that Championship. I swear.

Well, I’ve officially blown my first good chance.

Hahaha. I should have just talked to you straight up. We were already alone… Gah. Instead, I walk away, without even looking at you ! WTF ?! I could’ve just fixed it all there or maybe at least get some closure. But nah. I had to be awkward. Wtf, seriously, wtaf.